Coffee and Halves only
My morning in Westminster finishes bang on ten. Now for a pub crawl. Yes, in London, it's possible to start this early - and without visiting Timbo. Although your wallet will have wished that you had.
Joolz is my guide - and I have to say, the pubs seem secondary to a fine Mayfair walk, which brings to my attention various locations that my recent walk failed to highlight. Scanning the QR code in the guidebooks redirects you to an entertaining video, which hardly mentions the pubs at all. Odd for a London Pub Walks book.
The 10am opener is the Westminster Arms. A strange Shepherds Neame pub that seems oddly devoid of furniture. Just a handful of high stools around the window frames. The Campaign for Comfy Sofa restarts here.
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| Bill Clinton and Angelina Jolie former patris |
There is a little clue as to the reason for this - one of three pubs in the area with a division bell. I've never heard it ring - giving politicians eight minutes to get back to their place of work - but I have seen it go from empty to a scrummage in moments, as our elected elite flood the place. I imagine this doesn't happen so often now, with heavily subsidised bars in their place of work more appealing in a cost of living crisis.
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| Token Halloween decorations |
Having the place to myself, allowed for a good photo of the one feature of this pub worth seeing - the gorgeous bar back. The rest of the visit, the worst of hospitality. I asked if they did coffee and I could tell from the barman's face they did but he couldn't be arsed. He then went on to talk loudly to the other staff member, slagging off last night's customers.
Fair-do's if they were politicians.
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| Almost worth the entry fee. |
Around the corner to the Two Chairmen. An C18th pub, with comfy seats and a working coffee machine. Greene King - named after sedan carriers, rather than stalwarts of business and plushly unmemorable.
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| Two Chairmen |
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| Decent range for a GK - Jaipur ignored for arabica |
Into Mayfair, via the Waterloo Steps. The Red Lion, a fine recommendation, not quite open. One of Len Deighton's London Dossier recommendations, it's a real beauty inside.
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| Fullers Finest |
The Chequers takes some finding, with its very narrow frontage. For the area, very working class, right from its 1717 origins. The local coachmen used to while away the time playing chequers on the doorstep, forcing its name change from the Masons Arms. In 2026, these working class roots run to a fine sausage and onion baguette. Other toasted sandwiches are available. And bang average London Pride.
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| Orderly queue for the Chequers |
I'd noticed Ye Grapes, in Shepherd's Market on my previous walk and vowed to come back. Alas, the beauty is mainly limited to the outside. The Ghost Ship, near undrinkable.
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| Disappointment |
Joolz points out 48 Upper Grosvenor Street - the location of a piece of particularly racy London folklore. Home of the Duchess of Argyll and location of the infamous "headless man" photo. The Duchess was also in it. In the nip, apart from a pearl necklace, and performing a service. The jewellery apt, as it is how this particular story ended.
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| Things that happen beyond closed doors |
Across Grosvenor Square, via The Barley Mow and down a little mews back street is a lovely sculpture of Terence Donovan taking a photo of Twiggy. The statue providing more memories than the Barley Mow. A pub that doesn't do nuts but does olives tells you everything you need to know.
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| Bourdon Street - if you are looking for it |
A last bit of art - possibly the oldest outdoor statue in London graces the door of Sothebys. Sekhmet, the Egyptian goddess of healing dating from 1300BC. Cleopatra's Needle might be able but is it an artefact, rather than a statue?
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| Future Quiz Question |
And the final pub - The Mason's Arms - a classic of the 1930s Mock Tudor style. A decent line up of Yorkshire Cask and a 25% discount for card carrying CAMRA members.
Probably pub of the day for the half of Old Peculiar.
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| Mock Tudor in Mayfair |
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| Half pint jug |
Walk Details
Distance - 3.75 miles
Walk Inspiration - Joolz Splendid Pub Walks, Walk 13
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