05/06/25 - Goathland, for the Birch Hall Inn at Beck Hole

Heartbeat, with Nick Berry

If you ever need cheering up, check out the TripAdvisor reviews for the Goathland Hotel. 2.8 and falling. AI Summaries coming up with "Expensive" and "Rude". I have had the "treatment" during my North Yorkshire Moors Inn Way.

Here are my comments from that fateful day.

And on to the Goathland Hotel, where the proprietor has changed the name to the Aidensfield Arms, to lure in the Nick Berry fanclub.

And talk about being careful what you wish for. The place is mentally busy with runaround kids, the indecisive elderly and the quite frankly insane and he is having to work like a trojan. I order my Black Sheep and he gives me the 1000 yard stare. I ask him if there is a problem. After a sigh and a pause he says "You haven't said if you want a pint or a half" in the most cheerless, morose Yorkshire accent imaginable.

That same day, I tried to visit the much more lauded Birch Hall Inn. Vague opening hours meant I was never going to be lucky when I couldn't control the time of arrival. No such issues this time. I have completed my homework and can strike from 11:30am on a Thursday.

Tourist bits in Goathland out of the way and we are on our way.

Aidensfield or Goathland

The route is rather good for walking dogs. A disused railway line where they can go off lead for a time. A quiet lane through remote moorland. More off lead walking through woodland as we try to find the Mallyan Spout Waterfall, but the recent drought has limited its impact.

Flat and straight

Stay on the paths

Wild Exploring

The first thing I notice about the Birch Hall Inn is that the door is ajar. Hallelujah! The second thing I notice is that a sign in the window says "Cash Only".

I dreamt about this last night. The only time I have significant cash is when getting my haircut at a Turkish Barbers by a barber that has never been to Turkey. Luckily, I have enough shrapnel in my rucksack to exactly afford a round of 1 pint, 1 half and a quarter of rhubarb and custard.

I am fairly confident in saying that this is the only pub in the land that is bisected by a sweet shop.

Let's bring you the photos.

Painting by the father of the actor that played Long John Silver in Treasure Island - Algernon Newton

The Hatch in the Big Bar - Sweets available

Not enough shrapnel to stretch to Buttered Beer Cake

Cash is King

Things I learned by talking to a faceless voice on the other side of the hatch;

• The current landlady has run the place for 44 years
• She took it on from a previous landlady who ran it for 54 years
• On the condition, she made no changes
• She did add a ladies loo, previously, they had to use the facilities in the upstairs lodging
• The most people in the small bar is 32.
• And 2 dogs
• They get a lot of regulars (quoits team), railway enthusiasts, walkers, pub aficionados and international tourists
• They don't open on Saturdays because of the hassle from pub crawlers completing the "Gallon Walk"
• Although I expect they do when it gets dark for the locals

A bucket list entry ticked off.

Can you tell I enjoyed my visit?

Walk Details

Distance - 5 Miles

Geocaches - 4

Walk Inspiration - Best Pub Walks on the North Yorkshire Moors and Coast, Walk 18

04/06/25 - Runswick Bay to Staithes for the Cod and Lobster

Civilised Opening Hours

As fine a coastal walk as you could hope for. Lung bursting ups and downs, dramatic (and crumbling) high cliffs and a lovely little village steeped in history to explore in Staithes.

Today, is mainly this.... the shanty town of Port Mulgrave below

There's a free museum at Staithes, which no doubt tells Captain Cook's story, with a mix of fishing history and alum rock mining.

We didn't get past the uniquely named Cod and Lobster Pub. 

Unless you count Mrs M's round at the bakery.

Not sure what more you could want from a pub. Outdoor seating, where all that separates you from an always changing sea view are some railings. A small, low ceiling bar inside for cozy chats with salty sea dogs - - or perhaps tourists from Cannock -  if the weather changes . Black Sheep and Timothy Taylor Landlord available from the very civilised 10am opening hours.

The dogs get a post pint hurrah on the beach and we head for cake.

Beach side views...

... of a perfectly positioned pub

As if the walk couldn't get better, we had a change of terrain for the return leg. Shun the bus back (unless the C&L keeps you longer than expected), cross the road and drop down into the deserted dingly dell of Oakbridge Woods.

Perfect off lead walking for dogs that had previously avoided fatigue.

The next day, they slept in. To 6.10am.

Contrasting Walk

Walk Details

Distance - 7.5 Miles

Geocaches - 1

Walk Inspiration - 40 Walks in North Yorkshire

03/06/25 - The River Esk Walk - Sleights to Whitby

Good Beer Guide Ticking

The River Esk Walk is a new medium distance path. 

The Esk Valley Walk is a scenic long-distance footpath in North Yorkshire, England, stretching approximately 35 miles from the village of Castleton to the historic coastal town of Whitby. This route offers a diverse walking experience, combining upland moorland, river valleys, and picturesque villages.

From our base in Sleights, it takes us exactly where we want to be. The tourist and pubby highlights of Whitby. The walking is functional, following sheep fields and railway lines. What is surprising is the lack of views of the river. If it wasn't for crossing at Ruswarp, we wouldn't have seen it at all until the estuary.

Where's the Esk?

Good signage

Usual tourist photos, alongside sail boats, up 199 steps and next to ruined abbeys that inspired fictional pointy toothed monsters. 

Time to add to the Good Beer Guide Ticks, from a previous visit to the area when we could only sit outside the few pubs that had chosen to open in Spring 2021.

The Black Horse would not have coped with covid. A squeeze through the front door to a tiny front room where you have to make friends with everyone. A couple of springer spaniels will aid that process significantly. 

Peaking Early - Today's Best Pub

This is one of those places that will improve through experience. A first visitor could be forgiven for thinking the front room is all there is - where two beers are available. Oddly, from Suffolk and Cornwall. However, there is another room around the back with some more LocALE offerings.

Conversations flowed with the landlord, the locals and the tourists until we reached the point when we had bored everyone and we were the last couple standing. Things we learnt? The landlord has never seen a ghost here but he had at his previous pub, the Hole in the Wall, York. Tapas in Yorkshire is Yapas. Obviously.

My type of gaff

Cultural Appropriation

We did head up the steps and have a revisit of the previously blogged Whitby Brewery.  A must visit on a sunny day.

Strategically positioning ourselves for public transport home, we head towards the station for one of the three trains a day. Not steam, regular Northern.

The Station Inn does nothing to dispel my suspicion that any pub named after railway infrastructure is likely to be a bit rubbish. It doesn't look great from the outside.

Ordinary Pub

Inside, it fares better. Multi roomed and apart from the stifling temperature, the little lounge, with its green leather bench seating, is a nice place to drink.

The drink? A poor example of Timothy Taylor Landlord in a dirty glass.  We move on.

Where better to wait for a train than The Waiting Room? Sister pub to the Saturday visited Arch and Abbey but unless you like cider, not quite as interesting.

Its the tiniest of micros. WhatPub listing it as 6 yards squared. Not sure it has more than four tables.

For me a micro needs to offer more than a regular pub to work. Four Cask, no Keg at all and a small collection of International bottles. Nine ciders could have been that unique offering, but not quite up my street. I like cider, but wouldn't know how to choose from a list of names and producers. There are all £4.95, so I would probably apply the same high ABV as I do to beer. 7% seems a bargain.

The cask - Abbeydale Absolution - was perfect. So it definitely warrants its place in the bible.

Last Train to Sleights leaves at 4pm

Amusingly, if you wish to use the facilities, you are forced to ask for the key, which is connected to a giant fob. Instructions say you must lock the door and return the key to the bar.

The place is that small that no one could sneak in for a crafty tinkle without the staff noticing.

Obviously, there was an incident that forced this policy to be implemented.

In other news, Northern Trains were ready for us at the allotted time. £7.80 for two for nine minutes.

Walk Details

Distance - 4 Miles

Geocaches - 5

Walk Inspiration - The Esk Valley Walk

02/06/25 - Roseberry Topping for the Kings Head, Newton Under Roseberry

Yorkshire Matterhorn

Roseberry Topping has been on the wish list for a long time. Isolated and distinctively shaped due to a mining collapse, it has quite the profile.

View from the valley floor

My guidebook suggested parking at the Kings Head. Although we were going to use the facilities post-walk, I was warned about their car park spy cameras and automatic fining system for non patrons. The first reason to dislike the place, before I have even got there.

Instead, we are on the public car park for a short but very steep climb up the Western Flanks. The views are tremendous. There are many photos. For both the views and a breather.

Stairway to aching knees Heaven

Whooo, we're halfway there

Captains Cooks Monument can be seen at the end of a what looks a long flat ridge across on Easby Moor. Of course, there are descents and climbs to undertake but it is fine walking across the moorland.

Onwards on flagstones

I know I am in trouble when Mrs M argues that we could have googled that. If there were roads, I would have attempted an uber. Yet the walking through shaded woodland will hopefully leave positive memories once she has been watered.

Topping is peaking through Cliff Ridge Wood

Onto the Kings Head. Built in 1796, with an early owner who went by the name of Old Gag Mally Wright. I am wondering if she was nick-named after the quality of the beer.

The Kings Head

My spider senses were tingling from the get-go. An expired Cask Marque sign outside. Disinteresting staff barely out of their teens. There were a couple of cask ales, one eponymously named after the peak we had just climbed. Thank the lord I asked for a sample. Bog water.

Staropramen on keg can always be trusted.

Walk Details

Distance - 7 Miles

Geocaches - 2

Walk Inspiration - Best Pub Walks on the North Yorkshire Moors and Coast